10 Ways to Make Your Illness Support Group Uplifting

If you have a chronic illness or live with chronic pain, it's highly likely that you have attended a support group at least one time since your diagnosis. Did the experience go something like this?

You felt awful the entire day but you decided to get in the car and go to the support group anyway. You thought it would be good for you. It took forever to find the building at the hospital and then you ended up parking what seemed like a mile from the suite number. You found a chair that smelled like old sweat and smoke and hoped somehow you would find some encouragement. But an hour later you're ready to make dash for the door. Everyone seems to be so depressed! And too many people want to either sell you a juicer that is sure to cure your problems, or tell you about every surgery they've had since 1977.

Aren't support groups supposed to be a valuable coping tool?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one's feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it's likely that you've seen the slippery slope of how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small groups to perk things up?

Whether you lead a support group or just participate, chances are you've noticed how slippery the slope is when people start talking about their illness. These ideas will work for any groups, from an Aspergers support group in Dallas to a bipolar support group in Birmingham. Alabama. And they are excellent to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group. Here are 10 ways to make your illness support group get some giggles back between the trials.

1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, "Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary." (Then flip it over) "But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house."

2. Rethink your concept of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, have everyone bring things for a JOY box and then have everyone choose something to take with them out of it at each meeting. It could be a rubber frog, a favorite poem, a note someone sent, an encouraging book, a silly or sentimental DVD. Have everyone return them by the next meeting to share again.

3. Here's a unique icebreaker for small groups. Make a silly theme song that you use to start the meeting. You can pick a song and make up new lyrics too. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe for some good ideas about how to make a song your own at her web site.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Though it can be a challenge, don't let your group tune into a platform for any member to talk continuously about his or her disease, the treatments, alternative treatments and even complaints. If someone tends to dominate the conversation, let your group know you are implementing the use of a timer to make sure everyone has equal opportunity to share. Set whatever guidelines you wish, for instance, you could allow people to vent for sixty seconds on any topic. Or they could share about an alternative treatment they've found useful, but when the timer rings, time is up!

6. Have everyone bring something to put into a basket of encouragement for someone else. It may be someone who is having surgery from your group or a friend of someone in the group who has just been diagnosed. Brainstorm together about what items people would like, and be sure to remember sometimes the personal notes mean the most. If it's appropriate consider including family members.

7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven't opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.

8. Have items on hand that will encourage people to thrive despite their illness. For example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness week has fun things like bumper stickers, pins, mugs and stickers that have themes like "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through."

9. Listen to a recording of potential guest speakers before inviting them to speak if possible. Some can be quite depressing. Let guest speakers know that you'd like their presentation to be on the positive side despite the topic of illness. Tell them they are welcome to tell a joke, pass out props, or whatever will keep people listening and also encouraged.

10. Focus on things that your group can actually do that will change things, since they may feel so unable to control their illness. If you can't physically participate in the local walk for charity, could you work at a table handing out snacks or doing registration? Find events your group can participate in to feel like they are doing more than just complaining about their predicament. Take advantage of the energy that teens with chronic illness often have to motivate support groups to get involved in outside projects.

Support groups can be one of the most vital tickets to living successfully with chronic illness, but the atmosphere of the group can make or break its effectiveness. With these few simple steps, your group can be a place of refuge and relaxation, creating an environment for people to live their best lives, despite the existence of an illness.

By: Lisa Copen

Find more ideas for your proposal for starting up a support group with your free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen. Just sign up for a weekly encouragement ezine, HopeNotes.

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