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A Strange Fish Tale

Salmon Rushdie and Marlin Brando have nothing on life over me, another poor fish swimming in the big pond o' scum. We've haddock with life, living down on squid roe, reaching minnowpause, and for the main part, mentally eel.

Since I've always marched to a different drum, you know, danced to a different tuna, and been a shad bit egocentric, people have tried desperately to save my sole. Holy mackerel, if I could count the times. Those bassturds. They just perch up on their high seahorse and talk down to me as if I'm pond scum. So what's it all about, Algae?

For awhile a tried corporate America and I played a rather decent upwardly-mobile guppy. I made a great deal of money but always felt crappie.

I'd rather swim with the lawyers than sharks, this I know.

to shore

Did you grow up with the Beatles on too loud; or even Country Joe and the FISH? Bet you're hard of herring like me.

I would hardly call myself an athiest fish. I do believe there is a Cod.

A lox of times I would start a project early in the yearling, and never finish it. This only served to bait the public into calling me a sucker(fish) or even worse!!

I can stand the heat. Nobody can lure me unless I let them. I know how to take care of myself. I left home at age 15 and was an urchin ever since. The streets are hard for a fighting fish but I made it after all.

Many times I was on the bream of success and blew it just like any blowfish would do.

One time I even trout for major league football (no kidding) during the USA league. They laughed me off the field thinking I was some kind of clownfish

Nice guys finish last, I know, I know. But consider it their net loss.

It's my own fish philosophy; well I actually plagiarized it from decarp "I swim therefore I am". But in my own way, the world is my oyster and nobody can take that away from me. I continue to have a porpoise in life and really, isn't that what counts? I could have turned out evil like Jack The Flipper but noooooooooooooooo....I became an outstanding citizen nevertheless.

Some of my humor may be sardinonic but that is the way it goes. It helps me cope through the rough seas.

As the world changes so do I. And I will think of a new philosophy as soon as I have time to mullet over. But I will. Because I'm the reel thing. You can count on that. I may fail a lot but when I throw a strike, no catfish hunter has a thing on me.

So when I change no neon tetra light is going to go off. It will be a gradual thing. And I'm not sea lion either. I am truthful.

May you accomplish at least half as much as Gilligan did.