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Funny Quotes from Golfers

There are more than a few games that challenge your skills and character, but none of them manages to match up with the purity of golf. It can be maddening. It can be frustrating. It can also be funny as these quotes show.

1. The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

2. Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

3. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. - Mickey Mantle

4. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

5. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

6. Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey

7. In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson

8. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

9. Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises.... It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. - Jim Murray

10. You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. - Lee Trevino

11. There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. - Lee Trevino

12. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford

13. I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart. - Buddy Hackett

14. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

15. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. - Kevin Costner