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Nobody is an amazing lover from the moment they are born, it's something that is learned over time through practice, communication and by paying attention to the person you are with. Becoming a better lover requires commitment and time, here I will show you a few tricks to help you along. However, I will only be focusing on one aspect of sexuality, the hands. The first thing to realize is that every woman is different. Because there is such a wide variety of preferences between women there is a wide variety of ways to 'handle' the woman you're with. An important thing to remember is that the brain truly is the body's largest sex organ, so in order to 'prep' her vagina you're first going to have to make her mentally ready. This is due to the fact that if she isn't producing any lubricant of her own then any serious activity down there could be quite uncomfortable, even downright painful. So before you start right in on the pleasing make sure she's ready, take your time, communicate, there's no hurry. I would like to say one more thing before we get into the meat of how to perform fingering. As I mentioned earlier, every woman has different likes and dislikes as far as what they enjoy sexually. So pay attention, keep communication open, some women love a lot of direct clitoral stimulation, some women find any direct stimulation to be uncomfortable. Some women can reach orgasm through g-spot attention only and some women can never reach orgasm without clitoral support. And some women never reach orgasm, no matter the time and attention given. The techniques I will go over here are just guidelines, remember to change them as necessary for the situation and the woman you're with. 1) The Straight and Narrow This is a very simple technique for fingering a woman, and requires that you are sitting between her legs while she is seated or lying on her back, you can also sit to one side. This technique can vary slightly depending on how she likes it. You take the number of fingers she prefers, or just start at one and move up slowly, and insert it into her vagina. Then move your finger in and out at a speed she likes. During this activity you can either keep your fingers straight or curl them up slightly to get stronger friction on her g-spot. Some women enjoy a fair amount of pressure on their g-spots as they are usually not as sensitive as the clit. To take this move up a level you can incorporate your thumb into the mix by rubbing it against her clit as you move in and out. Just remember that tempo is critical and only do what you can without losing focus, if providing clitoral stimulation with your thumb is too much at first then don't do it, wait until you get adept and keeping a rhythm at various speeds. 2) The Twister This technique is similar to a standard in and out movement with your straight finger(s), but with a twist. To begin you should place yourself between her legs while she lies down on her back or leans back in a seated position. To start you place your fingers just inside the lips of her vagina with your palm facing downwards, then as you push your fingers in deeper you twist your hand so that at maximum penetration your palm is facing upwards. On retrieval you again twist so your palm is facing downwards at minimum penetration. One thing to keep in mind is try to hold pressure on the upper wall of the vagina, this is where the g-spot is located and this type of fingering technique is generally aimed at g-spot stimulation. 2) Two is Better Than One This is a very strong technique but requires a bit more left/right hand coordination than most other techniques. You start by placing yourself between the girls legs while she is lying on her back or leaning back in a chair, you can also sit to one side or the other if that's more suitable or more comfortable for you. With one hand you move one or more fingers in a thrusting motion inside her vagina and with your other hand you rub your index and middle fingers in a circular motion around her clitoris. Rhythm is key here so to be able to more easily do this without losing your even tempo you might want to try starting with only one hand or the other and when you're in the groove slowly add the second hand. Even though each hand needs to keep its own rhythm, nobody says both hands need to follow the same beat. Make one hand fast and the other slow and mix it up a bit and ask her what she likes the best. 3) Take it up a Notch With Sex Toys As great as the human fingers are, sometimes it's nice to have a little extra variety, variety is the spice of life, you know. One option is called a finger, and rightly so, this little toy is essentially a small extension to your own digits. However it does have something your fingers lack; nubs and ticklers. You just place these over your own fingers and go on with business as usual. A different option is using a vibrator such as a bullet. You may know these as common sex toys that women use for masturbation, however they can be just as fun, if not more so, when used by a partner. You can even take the bullets up a level by adding a finger sex toy onto them! Thoughts to End By If you want to truly become a better lover you need to think about variety, keeping things new, always trying new things. Practice makes perfect and that holds true, even in the sexual world. Pleasure comes in many variations and there are always more to find and explore. so don't let yourself get caught in a rut, go out and find to ways to please your lover, it's what will set you apart from all the other 'average joes'. And don't forget lubrication, it's very important to have, especially if the woman you are with doesn't produce enough of her own.
By: Eric Schmidt
The author of this article enjoys writing about how to finger a girl and health. You can find his articles in various eZines and directories around the Internet.
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