Jack Nicklaus And Me: A Lot Of Balls

If you have heard of the name Jack Nicklaus then you'll probably know something about golf. I play golf, well, more accurately I occasionally hit a small white ball with a big stick, and sometimes the ball goes in the right direction, and sometimes it doesn't. The difference between Jack Nicklaus and myself is that he hits the ball more often, and it tends to go where he intends it to more often than me. Oh, and of course, he's been voted Golfer of the Millennium, and I'm still waiting to hear.

Besides being a world champion golfer and ambassador for the sport, Jack is well known for being an excellent designer of golf courses, and has recently become introduced to a new audience through his recent television adverts for Polaris. Whether or not you're interested in buying property overseas, if you're a golfer like me, or perhaps a slightly better one, then what Jack has done over there might well be of interest. Believe it or not, he has designed nine new golf courses specifically for one resort! That's a staggering 162 holes in the ground for me to miss. On the upside, that also probably means a good couple of hundred sandy bunkers for me to become horribly familiar with too.

For some reason I always picture other people in these glorious scenarios. Like my well tanned and absurdly happy neighbours who seem to disappear off to exotic locations and come back with tans that make me look whiter than a sheet of paper. I hate my neighbours. They're lovely people, but it's people like them, not like me, who get to live that kind of paradise lifestyle. Having said which, I had never really given it serious thought, until I discovered that these overseas property arrangements weren't just for the absurdly rich, the fragile ancients or both. In fact, because they've made such a big thing of the golf, it's appealing more and more to people like me who enjoy a good game, or more frequently, a dismal one.

The golf course near me recently got flooded. We have a torrent of rain for a couple of days and the whole place became a pond. It's dried out now, but for weeks the whole place was damp and boggy, and a fairly unpleasant place to play. Golf isn't traditionally a messy sport. If you want to come home caked with mud you either play rugby or take up mud wrestling. Golf is a nice clean sport. Not at my local course it hasn't been - just walking around you get filthy, and if you end up digging up the rough or wandering from sandy bunker to grassy embankments you end up needing to throw your entire outfit in the wash after a round.

So that's what made me think that moving to Spain sounds like a great idea. Imagine it - nine golf courses, endless sun, beautiful views, guaranteed good weather. Sounds like a dream. Maybe those neighbours of mine have got the right idea. But then there's the hassle of moving over there and it all is so difficult, I wonder whether it's worthwhile. But amazingly, I recently found out that many of these companies that deal with overseas property actually offer free trips over there to have a look and see what it would be like. They'll even throw in a round of golf while you're there. A free trip to Spain? A round of golf on a Jack Nicklaus course - it's all sounding very tempting. I may even start to consider what I'd look like with a tan and a smile.

One of the things that has surprised me most recently is the price of these overseas property. I always imagine that they were really expensive, especially when you consider the added bonuses like the scenery, the quiet, the views, the weather and the nine golf courses. Yet when I saw the prices advertised, I could afford to sell my house here and buy a really classy villa over there with its own pool, views and more golf than I could shake a stick at.

The properties being advertised look fantastic. Of course, almost anywhere looks fantastic if you shove it next to a glorious mountain range, make sure you have a deep blue ocean twinkling excitedly on the other side and bathe the whole lot in an absurd amount of sunshine, but then, that's the actual location you can expect to live in if you take the plunge. It's certainly very tempting, and the more I think about it, the more I start to picture myself there. I see myself waking up in the morning with the white cotton curtains fluttering gaily in the cool morning breeze as I dance towards the windows and look out across another world. I don't tend to dance much in the morning; I sort of lurch about a bit and stagger in a confused daze, but somehow I see myself dancing in Spain. It's funny how a little thing like sunshine and sea can change you.

And then I have to think again about the fact that these companies are actually offering free trips to try it out! I never considered myself a potential overseas property buyer, but really, I can't think of any really good reasons why not. I work from home myself, like many people do these days. With the increased use of technology so many people become flexible about where they work, that moving to another country is not as hard as it once used to be. The fact that all these television adverts and brochures are targeting us in this country means that they have excellent links and support, and have provided the service to so many people before that the whole process is well orchestrated. I'm very tempted - but then, you would be, wouldn't you? Especially if you play golf better than I do.

By: Russell R. Collins

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