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Laugh Till You Cry

So stressed out you feel like you are going to pop? Don't take everything so seriously. Yep, it is easy to say that but actually doing it can be a tad bit harder. Laughter can often be the best solution to any problem, so here are some quotes that should have you on the floor.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla. - Mitch Ratcliffe

For the man who has everything... Penicillin. - F. Borquin

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. - Garry Shandling

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. - Anonymous

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? - Homer J. Simpson

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. - Paris Hilton

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation. - Rush Limbaugh

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker. - Dan Rather

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea. - Jon Stewart

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it? - Albert Einstein

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them. - Terry Pratchett

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. - Anonymous