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Sibling Rivalry Looks Worse Than It Really Is

In most families sibling rivalry is common. Fighting and arguing with your brothers and sisters as you grow up together is natural and this should not cause alarm. Sibling rivalry does not happen in every family although happens in plenty families.

Your children have a good overall relationship with one another and seem to be happy otherwise, sibling rivalry is nothing to worry about. When things get out of hand and sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child parents should step in. Ignoring the situation does not make it go away and could cause difficulty with close relationships and other problems for your child in the long run.

Reasons for jealousy, sibling rivalry and provocation include:

Jealousy or aggressive personalities

A shortage of self-esteem

Poor social skills

People suffering from low self-esteem tend to be unhappy with themselves and seek validation from others, especially family members. If their view is outwardly focused in this way, they can become envious and think others are better than them. If this person also lacks social skills, they might relieve their frustration by "acting up" with their siblings. He or she might also be provoked easily. This is the main cause of sibling rivalry.

Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

When it is possible to deal with unhealthy sibling rivalries indirectly, this is the best solution. Direct wheat dealing with sibling rivalry may impair as though you are taking sides. This may result in one child feeling as though they are being victimized and then becoming withdrawn or aggressive while blaming you for the situation.

Dealing with this problem? Here are some tips:

Give the child that is being alienated plenty of attention, support and love.

Spend extra time with child that is having difficulty fitting in. Uses time to boost the childs self esteem and make this child feel important.

Check the causes for the child's unhappiness.

Give your child encouragement to confide. Be cautious and keep your temper, shouting at the child or upsetting the child is counterproductive.

After difficult situations have blown over discuss them with the child and ask if the child was watching their friends have the same disagreement what advice would they give their friends?

You might want to talk to the childs teacher about how to fix the problem and keep in mind that teachers have spent lots of time with kids and you might come up with something you can do together to help him.

You can visit, if need be, a child psychologist (without the child) for further advice and solutions.

At any age a child can start provocation and jealousy. This is usually started in childhood when the child is finding who he is. This might also start when the child hits puberty, adulthood, or adolescence; it just depends on where they live and what kind of life they live. It is easier to deal with if the child is younger because when they grow up and move out they arent going to want your advice.

Sibling Rivalries in adulthood

If your adult child is having trouble with a sibling and this is disrupting the family, intervention is recommended. Here are some possible interventions:

In a group discussion discuss possible solutions to the sibling rivalry problems. The key is to remain impartial and non judgmental.

You might want to get a fresh eye on the subject; get a close friend or relative to help you with dealing with the problem and talk to the child.

Have a third party discuss this with your children. This can be a close personal friend or a distant relative.

Talk to the sibling who is more receptive to advice first. Use tact and digression when approaching this subject with either of your children.

Building self-esteem in your children is not always easy, especially after there have been issues with sibling rivalry. Never give up on getting a good relationship built between your children. Some of the closest siblings didnt start out that way; they had to work through their issues as well. In the end, if you make an honest effort to show your children how to get along and how to treat one another it will work out.