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Sometimes You Just Need A Good Laugh

They say life tends to balance out, but some days can really seem to take the wind out of your sails. If you find yourself stressed out or taking life way to seriously, a good laugh can make all the difference so read on my friend.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. - Garry Shandling

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. - Anonymous

Only two things are necessary to keep ones wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. - Dennis Miller

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah. - Ronald Reagan

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. - Homer J. Simpson

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Erlich

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will