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The IRS Can Take A Joke, Right?

Preparing your tax return is enough to make just about any one of us weep like young children. The tax code is insanely complex. Before you begin, print this out and read it when you are getting stressed out. A good laugh can make a big difference.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry

The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power. - James Bovard

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct. - Fran Lebowitz

Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress. - Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something. - Doug Horton

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: In the beginning there's a lot of screaming and in the end you lose your house.

Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it. - Dave Barry

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form. - Laurence J. Peter

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes naturally, no one wants to live any other way. - Judith Martin

I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes. - Mick Jagger

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest. - C Bob Thaves